Another item that must be mentioned in the destruction of the black woman is her early sexualization. If you want to bet on one thing that is sure to move a black girl away from her mental assets to a focus on her physical ones is this high-octane sexual-charged atmosphere where her body generates attention long before she is socialized to understand the consequences. In black America, the sexualization of black girls takes place ahead of the socialization of black girls. And this is not a great concept mainly because if a girl’s sexual skills outpace her social skills, then what will be experienced is a generation of babies making babies.

Sex is much too powerful a drive for young girls to learn by trial and error because BET will inform them in a not too subtle fashion how to cash in on their sexuality. In all corners of society, the urge to be sexy is magnified, but nowhere else is this drive more magnified than among young black girls and this troubling trend won’t change until black girls are socialized to treat their sexuality with more care.

Television won’t change its stripes so the blatant sexuality will continue. What must change instead is our slavish attraction to what the tube promotes and invites us to. This urban social trend to permit television to raise our children has overstayed its welcome, and must be put to rest because if we’re trying to raise responsible young females, the oversimplification of sexuality must be discarded. In essence, we must be willing to take the extra risks of rescuing our children from BET, and then de-programming them with sensible data.

If we wish to evaluate what progress we have made in the correct socialization of our young girls, then the present-day mores of black America will offer a valuable peek into the face of our apparent failure.

  1. According to a recent study, it has been found that in any given year, black girls are more prone to suicide than any other group.
  2. Black teen girls have a tendency to get pregnant early.
  3. Black teen girls have a greater risk of producing low-weight babies.
  4. For black girls, concerns about their body is the primary cause leading them to be become daily smokers.
  5. Black girls are more prone to stress and low self-esteem.

Given these dismal statistics, it is clearly evident there is much work that needs to be done if our girls are to be saved. Obviously, something must be immediately done to manage this crisis, but what leverage          do we employ to turn the volatility of this  situation around? We are on the ropes with our young girls, and if we don’t soon part company with our do-nothing attitude, then young, black girls will fill prisons in the exact same fashion that young, black males currently do.

Admittedly, there is no perfect scenario but a huge difference can be made if we teach these girls to value their lives because if they value their lives, they will better be able to control what happens to them. The cure to controlling your life is first to care for your life!

What’s so vital about this concept lies in the fact that if you value and care for you life, you won’t have to wait and see what will happen to your life since you maintain some semblance of control of your affairs. Control is a great strategy because it effectively eliminates a lot of the risks entailed with being completely powerless. What else is certain is that there can be no crash courses in restoring the self-esteem of our girls. Instead, it must be a continuing process for only such an agenda will be viable enough to repair what has the earmarks of permanent injury.

From an early age, black girls must be made to understand that the greatest source of  their future independence lies within, and that this jewel is their self-esteem. Nothing is more important that this. This is the cornerstone from which everything else is built. There can be no skepticism about this because no greater  (or wiser) investment can be made than the investment you make in yourself, and one of the most significant side benefits of this is that once your self-esteem is intact, then it is much easier to assume responsibility for the other aspects of your existence.

Another quick word about the early sexualization of black girls is that it makes them vulnerable to early sexcapades. How many of us can own a car and not want to know how it operates? It would be highly irrational to not to want to test drive the vehicle, to see what it can do. Young girls are highly motivated to see what their bodies can do. Here’s how they look at it. They possess booty. I’m talking about the most renown, revered, talked-about behind on the planet, and every source in the world from radio to television to movies to word-of-mouth are all in lockstep agreement: The black woman has the most fabled butt in the universe, the Lamborghinis of asses. And as with any rare or prized commodity, the pleasure is not simply in owning it, but using it. Sure, a relative sense of satisfaction can be derived from pure ownership, but not nearly as much as can be derived from the actual use of that item. So what happens? Sex happens.

Then for a time something odd also happens and strangely enough a lot of it has to do with sexual empowerment. Whether you accept it or not, sex is the first real act of empowerment that a young girl chooses. She is empowered because only she can choose with whom she will share her body.
Sexual empowerment is a lot less public that educational empowerment which requires a helluva lot more work to achieve and oftentimes, the empowerment that comes from education can be highly unpredictable. You have sistas with degrees flipping burgers or unemployed. It’s true, sometimes educational empowerment doesn’t surge you to the top. More times than not, sexual empowerment will. Study after study has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that a “pretty face and a big butt” will open doors quicker than “brains”. Other studies have shown that employers pick prospective female employees based on looks more than any other quality. That’s one component of sexual empowerment. The next time you are in any office, check out the receptionist. Chances are, she’s fine and ‘phat’. Look at advertising……sex sells. That’s sexual empowerment. The same holds true in the hip-hop world of music videos. What those ladies flaunt is sexual empowerment to the ultimate degree. How many videos have been propelled into mainstream glory because it portrayed a sista with a ‘phat brain’?
Every creature on the planet searches for empowerment. Humans are no exception, and it is not just a male thing. As babies, our first glimpse of empowerment comes early. We cry. We learn to use tears as a form of self-empowerment, and our tears usually get us what we want. Growing older, we are compelled to abandon tears as an empowerment method, and generally this paradigm shift leads to an exploration of our bodies as tools of empowerment. Bodily-empowered boys become athletes or bullies. Girls, too, are empowered by their bodies. Growing up, the young sista who got breasts first felt empowered over her less-endowed friends. And at an early age, what is more empowering to a sista than a big butt? Think about it, sistas, what concerned you most as a young girl…….your figure or your report card?

To find out more about this topic, please read my new book COOCHIE